time flies

I have been looking into deleting my myspace. I find that there are too many portals of technology in my life and it could be a waste. I started looking at the archives of pictures and notes and I have posted over than past 5 or 6 years that I have had an account on there. I think half of the pictures have been lost on my old computer, so I really need to copy everything before deleting it. I came across this blog that I written on March 6, 2006. It's funny because I feel like the expressions of my heart are still the same in present day. Please read what I wrote:

"A lot of today was spent in silence. Most of the time my mouth is open with a plethora of words coming out, but today.... there was mostly silence. I pondered a lot about time, my future and all that crap that freaks you out if you think about it too much. But how can you not think about it? My future sits on a time line in front of me sometimes staring at me asking me.... what are you going to do Marissa? Today, I so vividly remember memories of last year and the year before that. I suddenly got a little emotional as I thought about how fast my youth is flying by. There is so much happening right now in this journey of mine. I want to take every moment, whether it's a good or bad situation and pull something out of it. I want to pull a lesson from it and learn. I decided if I had a wish like King Solomon, I would ask for Wisdom too. Wisdom is so crucial in the thread that fabricates our life's decisions.

I went down to the beach tonight and watched the sunset. I often struggle with the concept of God being near me or even living in me. I get so flustered up with the world and living in it. I sometimes forget to dream. It's so important to dream and live those dreams. And more importantly, we need to glorify God in the midst of our dreams. I have this one life on this one earth. And time flies. I found myself remembering C.S. Lewis's words. Most of the time I don't read his stuff. It's to complex for me, but tonight I did. He convicts me to know my God better. I thought I would share some of what he said:

"He has infinite attention to spar for each one of us. He does not have to deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with Him as if you were the only being He had ever created. When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only man in the world." - Mere Christianity"